Love After Loss - Honor Your Relationship Requirements

Love After Loss - Honor Your Relationship Requirements
By Michelle Enis Vasquez

If you are young and have lost someone dear, you may wonder how you can spend the next 40 or 50 years alone. After a period of mourning your loss, you may be thinking about finding a new love. Where do you begin? Here is one of the steps to get you ready to date and find a new love after widowhood:

Honor your relationship requirements. These are the things you must have in a relationship for it to work for you. You may have never even thought about what your requirements are. Your relationship with your late spouse may have been a happy one that just worked without too much effort. Or it may have been fraught with conflict. Either way, if you want to find love again, this is a critical step in your journey to find someone new.

When your requirements are not present, you have a deal breaker. For instance, if you require a relationship in which you are both financially responsible and you find that your potential partner spends money frivolously, this would be a deal breaker. Similarly, if you have children and your potential partner does not want anything to do with kids, this would also be a deal breaker.

When you are ready. write out the best things about your relationship with your late spouse. These are the values you held dear, your goals and dreams, and the experiences you had as a couple. Decide which things you require to make a new relationship work.

You may have some new requirements as a widow/widower. Keep in mind that your experience of having lost your spouse may have made you aware of some things you never thought about before. You can add these to your list of requirements. For example, in addition to having a relationship in which both partners respect each other, you may want to include a respect for your memories of your late spouse. A deal breaking situation would be if your new love interest wanted you to get rid of anything that reminded you of your late spouse.

Take time to make a list of your requirements. If you can live without any particular one of them, they are not deal breakers. Instead, they are needs or wants. Get clear on what you must have in order for a relationship to work. Honor these requirements and you will have a much easier time when you date. You will be able to screen out people who do not meet your requirements, leaving you free to learn more about those who do.

Take care of yourself as you prepare to find love after loss. For more tips and tools about finding love after loss, go to http://fromlosstoloveagain.com. Become a member and post your comments to share with others about this topic today.

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