Fixing a Communication Problem in a Relationship

Fixing a Communication Problem in a Relationship
By Andrew M. Miller

You wake up one morning and realize that your relationship that you thought would last a lifetime has soured. What on earth happened? You stop and think, soon realizing that neither of you are talking. Oh yeah, you may say words to each other, but you aren’t communicating what you are really thinking and feeling.

Every couple has their rough spots in the first few years, but if you don’t talk about them and deal with them, they will only get worse. If you don’t learn communication in the early years, don’t expect things to get better. They will only get worse without communication.

So, you realize you have a problem. You decide that you need to start communicating with each other. How are you going to do that?

When a couple decides to go to counseling or therapy together, the are basically asking for a referee so they can have a decent conversation. Why would two people who love each other need a referee? Well often, if a couple is talking about something that is highly emotional to them, voices can get raised and the conversation heated. A referee (counselor or therapist) can prevent things from getting to far out of control.

You go to the counselor and they don’t say much, just sit and listen to you talk. They have done more for you than you may realize. They have provided an environment that is conducive to communication.

It is likely that the counselor will have words of wisdom and advice for you both. This is very useful in speeding up the healing process that needs to happen.

You can be very thankful for the therapist you have if they are able to help you both start communicating. This may very well have just saved your marriage. There is still hope if you are still having disagreements. Don’t stop communicating. This is your only hope.

You may have a whole list of grievances against your partner. Something as simple as leaving the car window down to something as major as infidelity. Some of these are very serious reasons and all need to be talked about and a plan of action formed. You may not be able to solve everything at one setting, but time has a way of working on things.

If you refuse to communicate with your partner, eventually your problems will seem bigger than what you can deal with and you will feel compelled to terminate the relationship. Keep talking and you can work things out.

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